Her internal struggle

Gustavo Quintero
English 48A
October 10,2007
Journal #11 Bradstreet Pg. 215


Quote:
"But as I grew up to be about 14 or 15, I found my heart more carnal and sitting loose from God, vanity and the follies of youth take hold of me.
About 16, the Lord laid His hand sore upon me and smote me with the smallpox....I besought the Lord and confessed my pride and vanity, and He was entreated of me and again restored me."


Summary:
In Bradstreet's letter to her children she is telling her children of a time in her life where she felt she had strayed from religion. She says that she was overtaken by the pressures of being a youth and let her vanity grab a hold of her. As the case may be she was stricken by smallpox, where she felt it was from the hand of God. She reconfirmed her faith and was cured of the smallpox.


Response:
First of all I want to apologize for using such a long quote but I feel that this quote is a very important and useful window into Bradstreet's inner most struggles with her own faith. Anne Bradstreet was stricken with many ailments as a child. We can assume that she was not able to follow the normal life that a child would have. With the constant sickness that plagued her throughout her life she constantly lay in bed praying to God to cure her of her sickness. This is the internal struggle that Bradsteet shares with readers on her writings. If God is a loving God and loves all his children then why does she face and suffer from so much pain? Even as an adult, by reading her poems, she is forced to endure many deaths. The many deaths of her grandchildren drive her to question her own faith. This is a painful thing for a Puritan to go through because of the fact that they all believed that they were the chosen people by God. Yet if she is part of the chosen people then why must she endure so much heartache. The idea that keeps her from completely losing faith is that the many times that she is battling illness she prays and eventually the illness subsides and disappears. Such is the case in the letter that she writes to her children. She tells her children of a time in her teenage years when she was struck with vain and with the desires and curiosity of a pubescent woman. According to her God afflicts her with smallpox so that she can stand and look at where she is going with her life. She obviously feels God is telling her ominously that she must denounce her actions and strengthen her faith to him and her savior. After she confesses all her sins then her smallpox is cured. God has willed her with a cure. This is all a typical view of the early Puritans as we know from our readings on Bradford and Bradstreet.

In, "To My Dear Children", Bradtreet is trying to persuade her children to always have faith in their religion. Never stray as she did, for if they do then they surly will face the pains and sorrows that she did. She is using her maternal nature to try to prevent her children from going through what she did. She is also reconfirming her own faith as she lay on her death bed; "This was written in much sickness and weakness,and is very weakly and imperfectly done."