Broken heart

Gustavo Quintero
English 48B
March 12, 2008
Journal #43 Zitkala Sa




Quote:
"The little taste of victory did not satisfy a hunger in my heart. In my mind I saw my mother far away on the Western plains, and she was holding a charge against me"(Sa 1121).




Summary:
After graduating from the boarding school, Sa is in her college dormitory room thinking about what her mom felt about her going off to the West.



Response:
To me It seems like Sa will never be able to forgive herself for going to the West with the missionaries. It is a constant struggle that she has to fight with all her life. In my previous posts I pointed out quotes that show how Sa's mom tried to warn her about going to the west but being the young and curious youth the missionaries were able to seduce her into coming to the west. I can only imagine the heartache that her mother felt knowing that her only youngest daughter was about to face hardships and indignities that would change both of their lives forever. All the attempts to keep her daughter from going West were unsuccessful. This causes much heartache in her mother which is apparent when she goes to the hills and cries. She cries for her youngest daughter. She cries hoping that her daughter will come back to live with her, far away from the missionaries. This reminiscing that Sa does occurs many times throughout her school career. The first time it happens when she first arrives at the boarding school, once here she begins to cry for her mom. Only instead of being consoled by the teachers here she is humiliated and has her hair cut. This theme of her and her mother comes up very often in the passages that we read. Sa is aware of the mistake that she made by going west and regrets this decision. In the above quote when Sa refers to the hunger in her heart she is referring to the yearning that she has for her mother's love again. She wants to be with her mother and I also think she wants her mother to accept the choice that she made when she was young. This is what keeps both her and her mother unhappy. If only they could come to a compromise so that they can heal their broken hearts.